This year’s map does not disappoint. For every state that’s searching for things that should be at a Super Bowl party (Colorado and Massachusetts with their chili, any of the states that are searching for a dip), there are even more states searching for things that shouldn’t be anywhere near a Super Bowl party. We will now shame those states.
Cornhusker State cuisine tends to skew solidly Midwestern: Think casseroles, seven-layer dips and the like. But send a Nebraskan to a Super Bowl party and things apparently take a more Middle Eastern turn with this strained yogurt dip. You could have given me 10,000 guesses on Nebraskan Super Bowl Googling and I would not have guessed labneh. Literally any food would come before it in my guessing.
Montana: Keto egg bites
What in tarnation? I guess these things were popularized by Starbucks, but there aren’t too many Starbucks in the entire state of Montana, so how popular can they be there? Also, keto egg bites seem to be merely mini-quiches with a fad-diet name, but those showy Montanans had to go put on airs, like usual.
Wyoming: Chia seed coconut milk dessert
This is some sort of elaborate prank, right? Like, this thing will get published and then some Wyomingite will ride in on a horse and be all like, “Just kidding; we eat chicken wings at our Super Bowl parties, you stupid East Coast rube.” I cannot possibly imagine what “chia seed coconut milk dessert” would entail, and I’m not going to look it up.
Vermont: Pork chow mein
It was my understanding that the last order of chow mein was placed sometime around 1984, but today I learned that Vermont is serving up the Chinese noodle dish at its Super Bowl parties, probably washed down with a nanobrewed beer produced by a bearded man in a shed.
Delaware: Prawn toast
I think, but cannot be certain, that this is more Americanized Chinese food, only using prawns, shrimp’s steroidal cousin. And Wikipedia tells me prawn toast is big in the United Kingdom, Ireland and Australia. But those places are exotic, or at least quite far away. This is Delaware, home of presidents and seekers of information about Cantonese dim sum to be served during the Super Bowl.
Alaska: Beef stew
Again with the stew. Irish stew was Iowa’s Super Bowl food two years ago, and now thick soup has migrated north to Alaska. It’s cold; I get it. But imagine asking to borrow someone’s crock pot to make buffalo chicken dip and being told, “Sorry, I need it for the stew I am serving at this Super Bowl party.” You’d probably just stay home.
Washington, D.C.: Mochi
Hey, it’s another example of “foods Matt is vaguely aware of but not in any sort of specific sense.” The Internet tells me mochi is a Japanese rice cake, and common sense tells me no Washingtonians are serving them at their Super Bowl parties.
Oklahoma, Indiana, Virginia: Charcuterie
Oklahoma and Virginia go with “charcuterie board” while Indiana simply is Googling “charcuterie,” because Hoosiers apparently think boards are for stuffy Oklahomans and Virginians. “We serve our charcuterie on a plate, as God intended,” Indiana says. In any case, a carefully curated selection of salted meats is a fine addition to any Super Bowl party. Serve it to me in a dirty hubcap. It doesn’t matter.